Sunday, January 28, 2007

For the love of one's country

It's always good to have a plan but it's not worth worrying about, worrying is something you do to make yourself feel like you are in control, but you do not truly know what is going to happen tomorrow. Well ... if you do then I hope something exciting happens to surprise you.

I am unbelievably excited about going back to Africa! For various reasons ... I shall get to see my best friend (with an added bonus of being her wedding photographer), my brother, my gran and my good friend Alice, amoung others. Sunshine. Time to relax. Photography. Travel. Backpacking, etc.

An old place with new eyes. I can't believe how much I've changed since leaving Zimbabwe. Something I'm so looking forward to is being an equal to the black Zimbabweans. Growing up in a white colonist community gave me this false belief that we are somehow superior to them, and when you're living in that mindset it's difficult to know differently. This time I certainly don't want to feel that way. And the typical 'right-wing' attitude towards money has gone out the window too. I'm going back to Zimbabwe with a well-earnt 'flexible' mind and attitude.

This trip is going to be a peace offering in some ways. It's unbelievable what a relief it has been having my parents over here - they aren't out of the woods yet but atleast they are safe and in a less stressful environment. I will always be a proud Zimbabwean despite the moments when this country made me want to scream with the deepest and darkest despair that I know. But somehow I do not see the point in examining a situation without looking at the bigger picture. Therefore not only am I going home to make peace with this place, but I'm going home to say the biggest thank you for making me a 'free' person.

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers. --M. Scott Peck

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Blogger ramo said...

I can understand the complexities of living in a colony and the changes you have gone through so-far. Still be careful and safe. Zimbabwe seems to be in a big mess now.

9:39 am  

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