Nobody is perfect
I wrote a letter today to one of the top managers in my organisation asking why things have been done they way there were. I expect a satisfactory explanation back. I am so glad to have a 'voice' and even happier to know I can use it!
Communication was on the zero level in my family, so I grew up so shy and unsure of people! Hence I got bullied at school and that made me even quieter. I turned to chocolate for some comfort and therefore I got fat, making the situation even more cheery. What an easy target I was for abusers. And when I asked for help it seemed to fall on deaf ears as I could not communicate and neither could the people close to me. So, I couldn't beat the bullies and the next best thing was to join them. We rebelled and had a lot of fun getting rather drunk and stoned but much good it seemed to do, nothing changed. I left Zimbabwe with so much hurt and anger.
I traveled and met new people, faced different situations and most of all, learnt a lot about myself and the world. I've cried, I have laughed, danced but don't think I've screamed (well maybe at a music festival). I could have cut contact with the people who caused me so much pain but decided that was just silly.
So I stuck by them, quietly, and got to know them. Suddenly all labels such as bastard, bitch, idiot etc all fall away and you really, I mean really, get to know a person. You know what makes them tick and you have a better understanding of why things happen they way they do. As Freud would say, the inner child in me matured. I guess I've learnt the lessons of forgiveness, healing of myself and others, and most importantly, unconditional love. Someone told me I am missing the point by forgiving these people but by going far deeper and getting to know them I've learnt and accepted that very few people actually do something to harm another, it is either pure ignorance or something much deeper which needs to be addressed! It is scary, difficult and extremely painful but is it not just common sense?
My worst enermies are by far some of my best friends, they have taught me profound things that people sometimes only realise whilst lying on their deathbeds. A somewhat superficial world might struggle to understand this but I certainly hope they try!
Every person is unique but why so often do we not realise this? If by telling my story I change 1 person's life for the better then I have done a brave and good job, making everything I've experienced double the worth!
Every life has a story. What's yours?
Communication was on the zero level in my family, so I grew up so shy and unsure of people! Hence I got bullied at school and that made me even quieter. I turned to chocolate for some comfort and therefore I got fat, making the situation even more cheery. What an easy target I was for abusers. And when I asked for help it seemed to fall on deaf ears as I could not communicate and neither could the people close to me. So, I couldn't beat the bullies and the next best thing was to join them. We rebelled and had a lot of fun getting rather drunk and stoned but much good it seemed to do, nothing changed. I left Zimbabwe with so much hurt and anger.
I traveled and met new people, faced different situations and most of all, learnt a lot about myself and the world. I've cried, I have laughed, danced but don't think I've screamed (well maybe at a music festival). I could have cut contact with the people who caused me so much pain but decided that was just silly.
So I stuck by them, quietly, and got to know them. Suddenly all labels such as bastard, bitch, idiot etc all fall away and you really, I mean really, get to know a person. You know what makes them tick and you have a better understanding of why things happen they way they do. As Freud would say, the inner child in me matured. I guess I've learnt the lessons of forgiveness, healing of myself and others, and most importantly, unconditional love. Someone told me I am missing the point by forgiving these people but by going far deeper and getting to know them I've learnt and accepted that very few people actually do something to harm another, it is either pure ignorance or something much deeper which needs to be addressed! It is scary, difficult and extremely painful but is it not just common sense?
My worst enermies are by far some of my best friends, they have taught me profound things that people sometimes only realise whilst lying on their deathbeds. A somewhat superficial world might struggle to understand this but I certainly hope they try!
Every person is unique but why so often do we not realise this? If by telling my story I change 1 person's life for the better then I have done a brave and good job, making everything I've experienced double the worth!
Every life has a story. What's yours?
posted by Shirlz at 1:16 am
2 Comments:
It was inspiring reading your post. I was bullied too when I was very small. It was very painful emotionally. I am happy you are moving on, knowing yourself and others better. Wishing you happiness, peace and wisdom.
Thank you so much Ramo! I'm glad you're doing the same. Mutual wishes :-)
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