Thursday, May 03, 2007

Ying and Yang

There is always an element of balance in life, maybe sometimes it’s going to one extreme and then the other to end on the middle note, or it’s weighing scale balance.

My daily life has changed dramatically lately, it’s blissful at the moment, holidays always are! Spending days in the sunshine cycling along coastlines, plenty time with friends, lots of photography, art galleries, and so on. There are moments when I feel my smile is going to break because it’s not big enough to express the happiness I am enjoying.

Though now my fears have transferred themselves to a different area of my life – my sleep. Zimbabwean nightmares. Very intense and should-be scary dreams but instead they have a deep element of sadness to them. The other night I woke up in tears when I should have been scared but, as weird as it is, they are not scary.

Last night, I was at an airport and sitting on a plane waiting for take-off but I had to rush off to get something so I ran there, got whatever it was then sprinted back to the aeroplane just to see it take off into the sunset. My parents were on the plane and they were going on holiday with my aunt and uncle for a few months. After that I was on a train with one of my mother’s friends, Peggy Parks, and Kathleen who’s a colleague of mine from my recent job. It was a Zimbabwean sleeper train and we were sitting on the ledge by the window chatting and watching the countryside slide by. Night fell fast and with that the soldiers made their entrance. All armed with AK47s they seemed to base themselves mainly in the carriage up from us, shooting out the window at the crowds of people who, with a theory of chaos, had been chased out of their homes and stood there nervous and fearful. There were soldiers scrambling about setting things to fire whilst flashes of gunfire littered the air. It seemed like a game to the soldiers and their cheers were extra loud and evil each time they shot a dog, maybe it was because it proved their target practise was paying off. I recognised people from the crowd, a family who used to live a block away from us, but felt so helpless. Next thing someone behind me placed the end of a gun on the nape of my neck. Bang. Bang. Bang. It wasn’t bullets but some sort of staples tipped with poison. I woke up after that.

Anyways it’s daytime now and once again the summer sun is shining!

Congrats to the newly wed Mr and Mrs Anthony Garden! My thoughts and heart are with you today and Saturday!

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