What just happened to me?

My life returned to some form of normality today ... after nearly 4 months of doing very little work I started a new full time job. It's even a permanent position which has the non-commitment side of me worried.

Wooooooo.

So I've done a full 360degree turn in the past couple months. I very nearly moved to England but the news of Marc's mom made me stop and think about what I was doing, so here I am still in Edinburgh. Last week I contacted a friend who is a recruitment agent and 2 days later he called to congratulate me on my new job! So today I became a Project Worker for the largest housing association in the UK but based in a complex with 11 people who have various disabilities. The wonderful thing is that I delegate the duties to the assistants whilst I deal with the fun stuff. My colleagues are Scottish, English, Zimbabwean, Australian, Indian and those are just the ones I met today - all really cool!

My mother admitted to being pleased that they'll have a holiday home in Sunny Scotland.

My gym has even taken me back and said I don't have to pay a thing for the rest of the year.

Wow, apologies and thanks to Edinburgh, it puts up with my confusion yet still treats me like a good friend.

The most fun thing I've been doing lately is the '365 project'!

Zimbabwean nightmares

I watched this video yesterday so I know where the scenes came from ....

In my dream .... I went out to a party which was held in a large hall as a lot of Bulawayo parties are. There were the usual crowds but they were all fairly quiet so I kept moving inbetween 2 bunches of people. Drinks were served in a side-room but when I went in there were Police hanging about looking malicious so I got my order then went back out and and a lot of people had left. Suddenly I was at home, in a very large house as I was always lucky to live in, but I couldn't find anyone so I was sneaking around the place feeling quite terrified. Alice, our domestic worker, had her light on so I shouted for her to come in and sleep in the spare bed in my room. When tiptoeing back down the passage I was confronted by more Police Officers saying they had caught 2 dangerous men nearby and needed to hold them captive at the house for a while. 1 of the detainees appeared to be having an epileptic seizure but the cops weren't bothered, they just wanted tea and sandwiches on demand. My dad appeared but he was a lot shorter than me and very subdued, he just obeyed what they said. I knew that the Police were evil but I was so fear-struck that I could not do anything.

Luckily after that I woke up and now at 4am I'm typing this. I know that sort of thing is Not happening in My house right now but it is to the people who are trying to stand up against the Mugabe regime. Who do you trust if it's not your government and police-force? ... Superman? Batman? Captain Planet?

I feel sick for the those who are being subjected to that sort of terrorising and they do not get to wake up like I just did. But it seems they do not have a choice so they just get on with it no matter what the consequences. I know why the world does not put a stop to these situations - because they, like me, do not know what to do and how to do it .. so we all feel helpless.

Kick, kick, yay!

My gran does not want my parents to say good-bye when they leave. She keeps whispering through tears to just go - to drop her car off and leave the keys in the ignition, and just go. This woman has spent her life caring my grandfather who had MS and raising 5 kids, 1 of which has a learning disability. All the family are doing their best to get her and my Aunt out of the country but there are many complications and it's taking lots of time. I don't understand why she's going through this, but I do thank her for passing along the 'fighter' gene to me.

My flatmate's mother had a rare type cancer a few years back but luckily the best doctors managed to remove it. Unfortunately this week we found out it has returned. Fortunately it seems to be in the early stages so an operation and chemotherapy should cure it. I'm so glad we had that holiday to Switzerland! Please say a prayer.

Suffice to say I will not leaving Edinburgh just yet.

How damn lucky am I to be getting such a thorough and interesting education from the Master of Life itself!?! I wouldn't swap it for the world, though this week hiding under my duvet is my occupation of choice. And ofcourse reverting to survival mode .... cartoon vision is a life-saver!

Where is my mind?

Up until a couple of years ago I always thought the saying 'make ends meet' was 'make hen's meat'. Well the second option makes more sense to me, do ends ever meet?

(If you're not philosophical then stop here and rather look at the pretty pictures.)

If there is a lesson I'm learning it is that I know nothing! Nothing at all. When I talk to people that are so confident about an idea or theory I wonder to myself just how much of the big picture are they seeing? Or did they see it and then decide that it's just too confusing so rather just settle for the easy way. And I also question do they realise how small a part they play in this massive scene. Knowledge is far more powerful than opinions but even facts change with time .. was the Earth always round? I know it's a silly question to ask but don't we always say honesty is the best policy? We're learning and discovering, we do not actually know.

The joys of opening up your mind are that you shoot yourself in the foot too. You deliberately challenge yourself to understand everyone's lifestyles, ideas and beliefs. And then you analyse. And you analyse. And you realise that there is no black and white whatsoever. And the world in general lacks common sense. But you accept everything for what it is and realise it should not be judged because it is 99.9% probable that you don't have all the facts. Once past that you realise the only thing you truly do have is this very moment which is filled with possibility - if you can surpass your self.

Maybe once that is done one can truly appreciate just how big life really is.

A small article online, a massive smile for me

Yay, my first photo gets published online! It's the Photo of the week on www.backpackers.com

Photoblogging

www.swirley.co.uk

A Massive thank-you to Phil who helped me set the website up. When he becomes a well-known photographer he is going to donate a nice camera to me! ;)

The Cape Town / Edinburgh Trio

Andrew (aka Dude) is the cowboy. Happy travels in Israel! Please return safely.
Marc (Shmeim) in red.
Me just being blonde.

This lifestyle will self-destruct in 24 days ...

I did the perfect Hollywood run yesterday, in my opinion even better than Tom Cruise's effort from MI3! Sitting in a boat bar on the Thames and having drinks with friends, I looked at the clock and realised it was a matter of minutes to get from there to my bus home. Now I know why Tommy and I did that 10km run earlier this year ... we sprinted to Embankment and the tube driver arrived right on his cue. Enough stops to catch my breath then continue running to the bus station. Yay, 5 min to spare so I bought myself some food. Went to board the bus and, oops, that was the Citylink depot, not the Megabus which I was booked on. It was the quickest run I have ever done and I managed to be the last person on the busy bus yet still get 2 seats to myself. Mission Completed. Successfully!


But that was not the real mission. The point of my fly-by (by bus) visit to London was for a job interview, and I got the job. I shall be working with young adults who have spinal injuries, it's a new challenge, I'll see my parents, money is good, flexibility is even better and I shall get to see a lot of England!

I have 24 days left as a proper Edinburgher.

Time to Rock n Roll baby!

The Eye of the Storm

I am a solo pilot who can perform amazing flying tricks! I'm in control but it is fun knowing my aeroplane is doing the loop-de-loop, getting swayed about by the wind, flying dangerously low and yet I am enjoying every second of it. That's my life!

Recently I've been doing not much! I realise how lucky I am to have the level of freedom that I do, working very few hours a week and not living with big relationship commitments, allowing me to feel and express my emotions freely - if I want to be grumpy I certainly will, the tears can flow, I can be indifferent and best of all I can laugh uncontrollably and be esctatically happy too. It is a little scary how much I've had to withdraw from normal society to feel this way, routine sure does kill creativity!

I was woken up to a nice surprise this sleepy Sunday - my Zimbabwe video is being linked on other peoples blogs ... Makaipa Mugabe

Ethan Zuckerman visited Zimbabwe and has a series of really insightful posts. I very proudly quote what he says,

"I spent less than three days in Zimbabwe, never left Harare and spent almost all my time in the company of different flavors of civil society activists. So I got a very brief and one-sided picture of the country. Still, I learned a lot - most centrally, I learned a little about why people who have the option to leave continue to live in Zimbabwe: it's one of the most beautiful countries I've ever been to, and the Zimbabwean people I interacted with are some of the smartest, bravest and friendliest folks I've ever met.

Which doesn't mean that I'll be hurrying back. The ways in which Zimbabwe is broken are deep, profound and would be intolerable to most people around the world. The fact that Zimbabwe continues to exist - that people go to work, to the market, to the bars and cafes - is a tribute to the resilience and flexibility of the Zimbabwean people. I'd snap, within days or weeks."