Thursday, November 30, 2006

I just do not understand ....

How, why ... what? The 'social state system' makes little sense to me. It's great, people who earn more money pay more tax etc, which provides a decent amount of money for the 'less privileged' to live on. Great. Does it work? I don't know. Do you?

Social work is not a fun or glamorous field, it's problem solving everyone else's problems. The pay isn't good and staff don't get much out of it, but they do it because they care.

And then they don't do it because they care.

Not long after starting my new job one of my colleagues had something thrown at her by a 'service-user' which caused a black eye. Nothing much was said about it. My colleague was back at work the next day, an incident report was written out and things went back to normal. No discussions held or apologies said.

A few weeks later, I am starting to form a decent relationship with the psychotic woman who never talks. She starts to trust me enough to give me a hug at the beginning of each visit. I get pulled up by my colleagues and am told this is not allowed, we are here to do a job, which is making it easier for her to live her life the way she wants to, and not be a friend. Not that she has any contact with friends or family. She was also told that hugs are inappropriate.

A few weeks later, one of the service-users slaps me (and then gives me the thumbs up sign). I was high bemused so I questioned what had gone wrong. Nothing apparently, natural reflex was the answer but I said that was not a good enough reason. I tell all my colleagues, a report is completed. Nothing else happens.

Today one of my colleagues took a service-user for a routine walk. 200m away from his flat he starts to 'kick off' (shouting, screaming, throwing himself into the wall and so on) and he grabs hold of her wrists and does not want to let go. She fears she's about to have her arms broken. The passers-by cross over the road and keep walking (???). Luckily I stumble into the situation, my colleague is in tears but we manage to get him to let go of her and return to his flat. She starts sobbing with shock and her arms are all red. After a cuppa, I speak to my boss, we sedate the chap and leave him to 'cool down'. Later I go see him and tell him that he needs to have a proper think about his behaviour as it was highly inappropriate and violent. He agrees and wants to apologise. Even later a different member of staff who has worked there for five years visits him with me, she tells him that there's nothing to worry about, he is not in trouble.

What? Am I fighting a battle worth fighting? Why are people here so scared to discipline, to speak out about against what is wrong and what is potentially a dangerous situation. If you watch the news you'll see that most street attacks are done by kids who say they did it "for Fun"? And what happens after that news report? ...

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Coincidence ?

So a while ago I was lucky enough to be a photographer at the Edinburgh marathon - I still don't know how that came about but I'm glad it did. I posted some of my photos on flickr and a few months later a guy commented that one of the runners called Hugh was a friend of his. The commenter, Joe, and I kept in contact with photos - when he was in London he took a picture of a London sunset over the Thames for me and whilst I was in Switzerland I got a couple shots of a paraglider and some cows for him.

A couple more months later Joe's 'media guru' called Stuart contacted me just to say hi and show me a clip of a video he's making of a medition resort up north- he thought I'd be interested in the project which I certainly am. The guy building the resort is Shen, Stuart knew him from here in Scotland but when he was in Sweden filming a documentary the crew stopped at a remote shop for supplies and who did he bump into but Shen.

We exchanged a few emails and found out that we had a lot of common interests. Stuart invited me out to their family cottage by Loch Fyne for a day, where I met the original runner Hugh and his girlfriend.

A few nights ago Stuart and I went out for hot chocolate and chatted like we've known each other for years. But I can't help laughing when thinking about all the weird connections it has taken to form this unusually made friendship! My thanks go out to the long list of people involved!

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Sunday, November 12, 2006

Hellos and Good-byes

Last week I was a bag of nerves! I caught the train to London on Friday evening, slept at the airport then SURPRISEd my parents when they flew in on Saturday. They thought my aunt and uncle were meeting them. My dad walked out the Arrivals door first and it took a moment for him to spot me ... I'm surprised after not seeing him for nearly 3 years his first comment was not 'my, haven't you grown!', but instead with a smirk on his face he muttered 'Conspiracy!'

Funnily enough on Friday whilst texting my mom she wrote "leaving Africa hasn't sunk in yet" so I replied "from my experience these types of changes never do, they just happen." So, no. There were no fireworks at the moment of surprise, no marching band started playing, the crowds didn't quieten down or look on, there weren't even any tears. There were smiles and hand squeezes, the moment just happened.



We spent a lovely day drinking cafe lattes, eating pub lunches and then were joined by my aunt and uncle for the afternoon. I feel lighter, happier, free and even though I've had maybe 10hours of sleep over 3 days, I want to skip everywhere I go. My father shared his pearls of wisdom with me ... when we yearn for something we have lost it is our selfish streak showing. During the course of the day my mother smiled at me and said that it's the small things that really count.



After leaving them in my relatives wonderful company for a few days, I treated myself to a double dose of sushi, yum! Then I got lost in Hammersmirth but after asking 5 locals for directions - 4 of them sending me in the wrong direction, I made it to Trent's farewell party for a quick dose of London Australianism. Good-bye for a while Champion, see you in Canada one day!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Well hidden treasure!

Yesterday I was walking up the road in my tracksuit and trainers when I noticed a very eccentrically dressed woman and a short man who quite obviousily had some sort of learning disability. He was wearing a local football club shirt, had dry blood above his lip from what looked like a nose-bleed and a white crust of saliva around his mouth.

Yes. I kept on walking.

Him, shouting after me: Elaine, Elaine! Are you teaching today?

Me: Huh?

"Oh, you're not Elaine" he explained - he'd been to a PE class last week and mistook me for the instructor.

After taking 5 steps in the opposite direction he turned and asked me where I'm from, so I answered.

Him: Shoana. Shoana!

Me: No, no, I'm not Shoana either.

Him: You muppet, that's the language spoken in Zimbabwe.

Me: Ummm, wow, yeah, umm, that's Shona.

Him: Ndinoona ngirozi dzichikwira nokudzikaNapamanera kubva kudenga kuuya pasi. Padenga pakamira Ishe,Mwari wa Abraham. Ane simba.

Me: Jesus.

Him: Inoshamisa iyi nzimbo, Baba vedu.Yakanakisa imba yaMwari.Huvepo hwenyu pamasuwo edenga,Zvakanaka kuve pedyo.Zvakanaka kuve pano.Inoshamisa iyi nzvimbo, Oh Ishe.

Me: What the ...? Ahhh, so, I'm actually from the south so I speak Ndebele.

Him: Salibonani umganiwami (Hello my friend).

Me: ........... ? Have you been to Africa before?

Him: Nah. I have a wee knack at languages, ye know pal.

Me: Mmm, I'm noticing.

Him: I want to be a missionary with the Church of the Latter Day Saints ...

Then we passed two metal statues of giraffes and there were 3 people repainting them. This genius stopped and asked if they were the artists. Turns out they were. Excitedly he informs them "Ya know, I saw them giraffes getting laid last week!" (Drunken aussies wandering out of the Walkabout Bar are always climbing on the things.)

I carried on walking, highly entertained and very, very confused!

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Saturday, November 04, 2006

Amnesty International

I woke up early, stumbled up the road and fell asleep again on the hour bus ride to Glasgow. Once there I bought myself breakfast - a hazelhut yogurt, which reminded me of Switzerland, then found a spot with a view of the city to enjoy it. When slightly more awake I wondered downtown and made my way the the Amnesty International Regional Conference.

All the wonderful introductions and welcoming took place. Then the speaker gave us a few facts about their sexual & reproductive rights policy consultation (abortion) and split us up into groups to discuss what stance AI should take on it. Ofcourse I went in guns blazing ... ahh yes, AI should make a decision, how can they just pass the buck and say 'we're not dealing with it because it's too controversial etc'. Well I soon learnt that I'm young and older people have a lot more knowledge than me, so after that I decided to shut my trap and just listen for the rest of the day. Yes, it would be great if AI did make up its mind on abortion, but it's a much bigger picture than that.

Later Neil Mackay (journalist), Alyn Smith (MEP) and Jeremy Croft (Head of Policy & Govt Affairs AIUK) gave talks about terrorism, security and human rights. Neil was great and he read an extract from his book War on Truth. He's a typical Northern Irish fella and looked as excited as a little boy on Christmas Eve when they handed him a tartan wrapped gift to say thanks for being there. Alyn was impressive, explaining that it scares him how much this country runs on 'fear' yet the masses don't question what is fed to them through the media. And the terrorists are not all wrong, rather it's a reaction to the West's actions.

After that we split into groups again to talk about if AI should deal directly with al-Qa'ida. Well no conclusions were come to - where would they start, how would they do it, would they lose their non-biast reputation, blah di blah. The waters are just so murky. (Hmmm, how familiar.)

A tough day, no-one wants to hear that around 1000 people are dying everyday through the use of arms. I don't want to know that governments are not listening to reason.

However a very good day, if not a little intimidating, as I learnt a lot from being around extremely well informed people.

(Nope, it's not black and white)

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Times like these...

I am losing my country. Something people go to war about and are willing to die for. I'm irritated, extremely hurt, upset, sad, grieving and overall I'm bloody angry!


My family leave Zimbabwe on Friday. All their stuff has been sold and our dogs were put to sleep yesterday.

It's times like this that the small things irritate me and I can't deal with superficialness - even though I know we are all guilty of it at times. I spend my time laughing, reading, exercising, photographing, hanging out with a wide variety of friends and thinking about life. Work involves helping people to stop self-harming, beating up others, be responsible, be happy, etc. I've started working with a lady who is selectively mute - it's such a strange experience communicating with someone whilst you have no idea what they make of you, it really forces me to analyse myself (even more than usual).
And then I get slapped in the face with superficality.

Whatever happened to the perfect woman who could love everyone around her whilst doing 20 things at once. Surely the smile she wore is much sexier than the latest Gucci jacket or the expensive make-up. The man who is charming, practical and resourceful .. not someone who needs a the best hairfix and the lastest gadget. No job is perfect but what someone puts in will highly affect what they get out of it.
Why does this world focus so much on the superficial stuff. What happens once you get past that ..... ? Do the masses stop to ask themselves that, or just move onto the next quickfix. Money doesn't buy interesting personalities, real beauty, experience, etc. Why do so many people know this but not live it?

Well. That's my rant over. As much as that aspect of life irritates me I also enjoy it as it adds depth and diversity.

I feel as though I'm losing a country whilst gaining the world. But that doesn't make it hurt any less - well it could if I chose not to think about it but that would be the equivalent of bunking out of class .... and the good teacher keeps reminding me that Home is where the heart is and mine is, surprise surprise, within me.